Remembering… El Día de Los Muertos

I've learned a great deal about death and grief in our almost 30 years in Nicaragua.  How communities come together to grieve, how events are planned so that grieving is given permission to linger, and how not to forget.

Remembering those no longer with us

One such example that has increasingly become more important to me is El Día de los Muertos or the Day of the Dead which is celebrated here on the 2nd of November.  This year in Nicaragua, instead of only a half day national holiday, it is a whole day off.


Traditionally here, families take that time to go to cemeteries to clean, plant, and put flowers on the graves of their family members they have lost.  In Nicaragua there are no special foods or parades or masks or parties, just simply going to the graves.


Many years ago Becca started celebrating with their girls in a bit more of the Mexican style that many of you would recognize.  A few years ago we joined as a community, setting up our own El Día de Los Muertos altar in homage and remembrance… with photographs of family, friends, staff, etc. we have lost.  

Remembering… Jubilee House Community style

None of our family are buried in Nicaragua.  The two members who have died here, Kathy's mother and her sister Pat… well, their bodies were cremated and the ashes spread.  No graves to tend.


Now we set up our own altar.  We add to it yearly with tears in our eyes as well as giving silent prayers of thanks for NOT having to add to it when our loved ones have had close calls but have survived.  Besides the photos, we think of things we can add that they loved.  My brother smoked weed for most of his life, so he has hemp-scented incense.  This year… for Anne, maybe a science experiment and for Elisabeth, rainbows?  We'll work all that out.


When the photos go out I walk by and look.  I can hear Daddy's mother shrieking "Kaaath-the-leeen!". Or picture Mama's mother brushing the knots out of my long hair.  For moments Daddy, Mama, brother Bobby are with me again… with Sister Maggie and Maestro and Jessenia.  Margaret and Bob are smoking and laughing with us again.  Pat will be there and meeting Liam for the first time …


Do I really think they are there?  Probably not.  


I believe their souls have gone to better tomorrows… they are dancing with a billion stars… on new wondrous adventures… and learning about love in ways we could never imagine… BUT…


Still I feel them with me as I make the intentional act to remember them.


I hope after I'm gone my children, grandchildren, community, and friends will put my photo up and tell stories of me… hilarious ones and for a brief moment I'll be with them again.


That's El Día de Los Muertos in its essence for me.

-Kathleen

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